The Fall of the Great Bandits
"Come on ye lads! That place there is-our first stop!" shouted Grumblehogan. He was the captain of a band of robbers, only seven men large. Despite the rather low numbers for a band of robbers of their time, this set of men looked like devils themselves. Years of not bathing and lack of manners had turned them into a bunch of wild looking, putrid smelling, and: bloodthirsty bandits. They didn't obey anyone, except of course, Captain Grumblehogan.
The raiders looked down upon their target. At the bottom of the valley lay a small, beautiful kingdom. Shepherds could be seen guiding their sheep" toward the pastures, and many field hands were laboring in the hot sun. It was the perfect place to wreak havoc upon. Barely any guards were visible in: the peaceful kingdom. Of course, guards sometimes provided a rather entertaining exercise, but sometimes too many of them could delay the raiders' plans.
Nasticarmic licked his lips, and smacked his hands together. "Perfect," he purred evilly in his roughened voice. "It'll be nice to kick up our feet and have a few unwilling wenches feed us the meat of those lovely white lambs," he laughed harshly with-the rest of the company.
"Yes," agreed Greedevort, "and we can-dress ourselves like gentlemen, with velvets and jewels and the like." He then proceeded to strut around like a prideful peacock. All the men started whistling and' hooting at him. Greedevort made a mocking-bow towards Gmmblehogan. "Tell us when we should commence with the taking over and such, your' Magnificent."
Grumblehogan rolled his eyes, and swiftly; before Greedevort could react, he hit the bowing man on the head, making him tumble to the ground. This caused another riotous outburst from the other bandits. "Well," replied Grumblehogan, "if you’re done making a fool of yourself, methinks we should start now." Cheers erupted from his followers.
At Grumblehogan's commands, the men started running to ambush the small valley, brandishing their large, rusty axes and swords. Panic began to unfold as the robbers approached the kingdom. People were running for the safety of the castle walls. Women screamed in alarm, and men yelled warnings to the guardsmen. Laughing, Grumblehogan's men rampaged on, using their axes, and swords to cut down anything in their path.
Suddenly, the kingdom's guardsmen came running out of the castle in their brightly polished silver armor, brandishing their long swords. "We demand that you leave at once!" cried a man in the center of the guardsmen, who was sitting on a large black horse.
Grumblehogan eyed the man with his beady black eyes and mockingly asked, “And who might you be?”
The king's champion," replied the man, "and it is his wish that you leave at once. Otherwise, you will greatly regret the consequences."
Grumblehogan and his men began to laugh. “I highly doubt that you will be able to beat me and my band,” Grumblehogan declared, “We are undefeated!" With that, Grumblehogan raised-his sword, and his men's swords and axes followed. All of them started yelling profanities and threats to the guardsmen, hoping to strike fear in their hearts.
At first, the robbers seemed to have succeeded. The king's champion was beckoning retreat into the castle. Grumblehogan's men tried to follow, but the entry to the kingdom was quickly closed. Grumblehogan laughed, despite his predicament. "If the king thinks that a wall will stop us, he is gravely mistaken. We shall have this kingdom!" He turned to two of his men who were holding axes. "Go and cut down a tree," he instructed them, 'We are going to make a battering ram and blast these doors open." Nodding, both men complied and went in search of a tree large enough to accomplish such a task.
Grumblehogan turned to talk to the rest of the group when he heard a voice yelling within the castle walls. "Let loose the butterflies!" it bellowed. Grumblehogan and his men turned in disbelief as a cloud of large, pink, sparkly, man-eating butterflies appeared over the high stone walls behind them.
“Run!” cried Grumblehogan, “It’s the pink, sparkly, man-eating butterflies of doom!!!” He started shoving his way through his men, trying to outrun the pink butterflies. Behind him, his men all screamed like small children as they tried to rid themselves of the sparkly attackers. It was no use. Pretty soon, all of Grumblehogan's men, but himself, had been eaten.
Grumblehogan tried hiding behind a large tree, praying that he wouldn't be found. Unfortunately for him, no one can hide from the pink, sparkly, man-eating butterflies of doom. A few moments later, the large cloud of butterflies surrounded Grumblehogan and ate him.¬