I Never Realized - Laura Barker

Brooke Rowley

I Never Realized
Laura Barker

It’s February 1, 2010 and
I never realized
how much I love this world
With its up’s and down’s
We smile and frown
Life is like space
So immense, fast-paced,
Limitless, with jewels of
Friendships that sparkle like
Diamonds

I never realized
How much I love being me
With my big eyes, big grin
Big feet, and big personality.
I never realized
How fantastic my snort is
Until I saw the grins and laughter
It spread to all who heard it.

I never realized
How much I loved my friends
Until we were separated by high school
Now things will never be the same
I never realized
How I held that group together
The kind of glue I was
I never realized how much they needed me
Until it was too late to go back.
Too late to change the past.
I never realized
How much I love hugs
Until there was no one there
to hold me close

I never realized
How much I’ve changed
Since 9th grade with my immaturity
My body has changed
But my mind is the same—twisted, confusing, fantastic

Different.

I never realized
How important it is
To listen
When someone needs your help
When they’re on the edge
Ready to jump.

I know now how much people depend On one another
To survive.

I never realized
How much I loved
And needed
My brother
Until he almost went away
For two years.

Then life happened—he stayed home.

I never realized
How much I love music
Until I learned how it worked
And how to make it work for me
If I just don’t let myself
Give up.

I never knew
How much a book could do
To waste away the unfilled time
Until I only had unfilled
Time.

I never realized
How many ways one could
Perceive space
And time.
Interchangeable
Unchangeable
Unstoppable
My space-time continuum
And destiny are changed
whenever someone
Enters my life
For better or worse.

I never realized
How much I want to travel
Back in time
To correct what I’ve done
Wrong.
Make sure I do things right this time.

I never realized
How words can damage,
Harm, injure,
Kill a person inside
And outside.
I know I need to be more cautious
So I don’t hurt anybody
Ever again.

I never realized
How sick I was of hurting people
Until I looked behind and saw
The damage left by the wake
Of my passing.

I never realized
How much I love
To hold a person close
and feel their warmth in my arms

I never realized
How much I write
When the emotions being
To surge
I never realized
How I can’t hold back
When I get started
Nothing can stop me.
Don’t stop me.